Fight the Tide

I’ve written essay after essay tonight, all of them heavy and philosophical, and none of them what I want to share with friends. This is a fairly common occurrence for me, which might be a surprise to most of those who know me.

I have a really dark side. Depression is a constant tide that pulls at me, incessantly trying to draw me into the deep waters, and under. That is my natural bent. But I am not a slave to my bent nature. I learned many, many years ago, that just because “that’s the way I am,” that doesn’t mean that’s the way I have to act. And the way I act has a profound effect on the way I feel.

So on nights like tonight, when the tide is rushing high and that deadly undertow is pulling at me, I consciously resist my natural bent by doing something really silly, or writing a nonsensical poem or story, or playing with marbles, or building castles out of marshmallows. Unfortunately, I’m completely out of marshmallows at the moment, so I’m going to have to write a poem.

Summer’s finally burning out

The days are getting shorter

I might be sad to see it go

Cuz it was a rip-snorter

But since it scorched me every day

And never gave me quarter

I’m glad to see the hot-shot go,

That’s not true for my daurghter :)

She’s wild about the hottest days

And hates the cooler night

She’d live in her bikini if

I told her that she might.

But since she knows that goose-bumps

Are not a lovely sight

She’s pulling out her sweaters

And grins because they’re TIGHT!

(those poor boys don’t have a chance!)

Ok, so I didn't say I wrote good poetry - but I feel so much better now. I think I'll let this be my Thursday-ish and take myself off to bed.